There are lots of shake ups in marriages these days due to the impact of the economy. Money they say answers all things but when it becomes short in supply, a lot of things are left unattended to, needs unmet, families are placed on tight budgets and even compelled to cut down on some necessities.
There are incessant arguments over funds, tensed atmosphere, and lack of interest for intimacy between couples. Family quality time is taken over by analysis of national issues and the frustrations in the system. The situation is further aggravated with news and headlines which carry nothing short of bitter stories of how there can never be an end to the miseries of man.
The worst hit in situations like these are the men as a man's sense of worth and fulfillment is somehow connected to his achievements (though this isn't totally true) and this includes his ability to provide for his family. When he finds himself failing in this area, he starts to loose his sense of responsibility as he feels his position as the head threatened and his ego daunted. In fighting to keep his ego intact, he becomes irritable, harsh, edgy, temperamental, frustrated, bitter and most times it is the wife who gets the bulk of his vent.
As wives, it is common of us to want to react in anger to our husbands annoying attitudes but our call as "help meet" of their destinies leaves quite a number of responsibilities on us beyond financial and material support.
We are also called to encourage them. Men are not prone to display of emotions like we do, they always want to show they have everything under control even when they're almost turn apart but we can help them through such periods by not rubbing it in when they become moody or try to make them to talk, they aren't verbal. I used to feel hurt and often took it personal whenever I knew my hubby was having issues but would not discuss it with me until I learned over the years that most men need their space at such times and not the clinging-on and petting we want to give them.
It is also not a time to push them off with complains and instructions, we're prone to instruct especially when we've analyzed the situation (and we're very good at that) and think we have the best idea or solution to the problem. Attempting to push our opinion could become a nag when we over do it. Picking on his weaknesses and failures too isn't the best way to encourage him. Though your intentions could be good but your method can make the situation worse by further confirming his feelings of inadequacy.
How then can we encourage our husbands in this trying moments?
1. Affirm the evidence of grace in his life. He's been the best of husband to you and father to your kids, bless him for this. He may not be meeting up to his responsibilities as expected but you've got to make him feel like the king he has always been. Encourage him with positive words, appreciate his effort and help affirm his position as the head. Verbally appreciate even the small show of affection. Constantly help build his faith through God's past faithfulness in his life and family.
2. Pray for him. You need to pray earnestly for your husband. Prayer is one powerful tool God has given every woman to bring down His power into any situation we find contrary to His will. Pray for every aspect of his life, his finance, decisions, self-image, his walk with God and for his role as husband and father. Praying for him also helps you overcome the feelings of hurt brought about by his inconsiderate and uncaring attitude. Its a battle that must be fought and won on the knees, you must be deliberate about not allowing any invisible wall between the two of you no matter the situation of things. Whether there's an economic downturn or not, you have been mandated by God to be fruitful, multiply and subdue the earth. Its your place to subdue everything that wants to stand against this word in his life. You also need to realise that the devil has always been after families, hence you should not be ignorant of his devices. Your husbands outburst is not just an attack on your person but an indirect attack on your marriage by the enemy. Therefore, its no time to take things personal and attack his person but time to take the battle to the enemies camp. Tell yourself you would not allow your husband to be wearied or pull down. Lay at Jesus' feet whatever it is that is trying to beat your man down and victory will be sure for him.
3. Give him plenty of sex or better put make love to him. You can encourage him with sex. Sex is one thing that makes men fulfilled and encouraged. It relieves them of stress and acts as a booster to their masculinity. You can keep your man encouraged and feeling on top of his game as he goes out to face the challenges of the day with a good dose of sex in the morning. The economy may have beaten him, things may not work out as expected but making love to him assures him there's still an area of his life he is still in control of.
Our ministry is first to our husbands, so no matter what we aspire for in life, we must ensure they stay strengthened and motivated. It is not always easy knowing we need encouragement and prayer ourselves but God's word assures us that "He that waters shall also be watered"........Your marriage shall succeed.
